Kelley Final

Kelley Holocaust Paper

Free Write 10/30

I'm a little overwhelmed right now with work, school, and home life. Started working more hours and that's stressful, but the money is nice. But now I'm having to watch my mother's home daycare for her as well. She is going through a few surgeries right now and needs someone there to help. I of course don't mind helping her, I just feel a little overwhelmed. My sister works about half the hours I do but can't seem to find the time to help my mother. But things will work out eventually. At least I know I'm doing the best I can and that I won't ever regret not doing my best. Apart from all of this my cat had her kittens last week and they are all doing very well. I posted a generic picture of kittens last week for a free write but now I have a bunch. My life is excited and a little crazy right now. With all of this going on I almost forgot it was Halloween tomorrow. The biggest holiday to me and my friends. Luckily my friends were eager to organize and they are all headed to my house tonight to begin our Halloween festivals. I get to do all the make up. They always choose me for that because I love to paint, rather it's on skin or canvas. Most of my friends are going to be zombies, so that means I get to play with fake blood, pale makeup and gross wounds with latex. I've done a lot of zombie costumes before so I'm not too worried about how those will turn out. One of my friends however, wishes to be a butterfly. She is going to stand out so much as we are going on a zombie walk, with a butterfly apparently. I am very excited to do the makeup for that costume. I don't get to play with the bright colors too often so it will be a learning experience. She is wanting red, orange, and yellow. With a tiny bit of black and silver. It's good to know that somewhere in all the hectic things I'm experiencing I still have fun things like kittens and zombies to look forward too.

Free Write 10/25

I was called into work late last night to help close. I was a little upset but the extra money will be nice. Also while I was a work it was announced to me that I now begin my supervisor training and will get my two dollar raise starting on my next paycheck. It's wonderful news. I will have to work a few more hours a week but it will definitely be worth seeing the larger paychecks. I will be bringing home almost $500 a week now, which is double what I've been making. I am stressed that I will be working more but I am very grateful that I finally get the position I was offered. I feel like I have too much going on right now but I know it will all be worth it once I'm done with school and I can move on to a better job. A career, not a job actually. Also, random thought, my cat had kittens this morning! YAY!

Free Write

I was offered a management position at work yesterday. I know I will be taking it as it's a two dollar raise and ten more hours a week. It will look nice to bring home a lot more on my paychecks each week. I don't really have much going on besides that. I'm excited about halloween coming up. I am ordering parts to a costume online and going shopping tomorrow for it. Not exactly sure of what I'm going for completely. Steampunk in some way I believe. Every day is exactly the same so nothing is exciting right now. But I suppose I would rather the order that is my life right now than some kind of chaos. I just don't like the feeling of settling. I always like having some kind of goal to aim for. But now I don't have anything and I feel slightly bored. Things are great though. I just don't know what to do when I'm not striving for anything. Time is the issue here. I can't do certain things until time has passed. At least things are going well though. I recognize that things are great for me. I'm just not the kind of person who likes to be happy with where I've gotten. I've always got to get better or aim for something. I was aiming for the management position so long that now I don't know what to do since I will be getting it. I've been passing my time by going to work and school and taking care of the house and all our pets. We found a stray cat and took her in a few weeks ago. Turns out she's very pregnant so any day now there should be kittens. That's kind of exciting. I started painting again. I had been out of paint for a few months. I can feel my depression coming back if I don't paint for awhile. It really helps me get out some of my issues and deal with them in much better ways than what I used to do. I had been near having a relapse and I haven't had any problems like that in well over a year. Painting makes me stay calm. It lets me express the things I'm too afraid to say to people. One day I hope to be better and to not need to do something to relieve everything. But until then I just have to find ways to keep me from thinking about what happened. I hope to keep doing well.

Vonnegut Jr. Essay