Free Write 10/30

I'm a little overwhelmed right now with work, school, and home life. Started working more hours and that's stressful, but the money is nice. But now I'm having to watch my mother's home daycare for her as well. She is going through a few surgeries right now and needs someone there to help. I of course don't mind helping her, I just feel a little overwhelmed. My sister works about half the hours I do but can't seem to find the time to help my mother. But things will work out eventually. At least I know I'm doing the best I can and that I won't ever regret not doing my best. Apart from all of this my cat had her kittens last week and they are all doing very well. I posted a generic picture of kittens last week for a free write but now I have a bunch. My life is excited and a little crazy right now. With all of this going on I almost forgot it was Halloween tomorrow. The biggest holiday to me and my friends. Luckily my friends were eager to organize and they are all headed to my house tonight to begin our Halloween festivals. I get to do all the make up. They always choose me for that because I love to paint, rather it's on skin or canvas. Most of my friends are going to be zombies, so that means I get to play with fake blood, pale makeup and gross wounds with latex. I've done a lot of zombie costumes before so I'm not too worried about how those will turn out. One of my friends however, wishes to be a butterfly. She is going to stand out so much as we are going on a zombie walk, with a butterfly apparently. I am very excited to do the makeup for that costume. I don't get to play with the bright colors too often so it will be a learning experience. She is wanting red, orange, and yellow. With a tiny bit of black and silver. It's good to know that somewhere in all the hectic things I'm experiencing I still have fun things like kittens and zombies to look forward too.

Free Write 10/25

I was called into work late last night to help close. I was a little upset but the extra money will be nice. Also while I was a work it was announced to me that I now begin my supervisor training and will get my two dollar raise starting on my next paycheck. It's wonderful news. I will have to work a few more hours a week but it will definitely be worth seeing the larger paychecks. I will be bringing home almost $500 a week now, which is double what I've been making. I am stressed that I will be working more but I am very grateful that I finally get the position I was offered. I feel like I have too much going on right now but I know it will all be worth it once I'm done with school and I can move on to a better job. A career, not a job actually. Also, random thought, my cat had kittens this morning! YAY!

Free Write

I was offered a management position at work yesterday. I know I will be taking it as it's a two dollar raise and ten more hours a week. It will look nice to bring home a lot more on my paychecks each week. I don't really have much going on besides that. I'm excited about halloween coming up. I am ordering parts to a costume online and going shopping tomorrow for it. Not exactly sure of what I'm going for completely. Steampunk in some way I believe. Every day is exactly the same so nothing is exciting right now. But I suppose I would rather the order that is my life right now than some kind of chaos. I just don't like the feeling of settling. I always like having some kind of goal to aim for. But now I don't have anything and I feel slightly bored. Things are great though. I just don't know what to do when I'm not striving for anything. Time is the issue here. I can't do certain things until time has passed. At least things are going well though. I recognize that things are great for me. I'm just not the kind of person who likes to be happy with where I've gotten. I've always got to get better or aim for something. I was aiming for the management position so long that now I don't know what to do since I will be getting it. I've been passing my time by going to work and school and taking care of the house and all our pets. We found a stray cat and took her in a few weeks ago. Turns out she's very pregnant so any day now there should be kittens. That's kind of exciting. I started painting again. I had been out of paint for a few months. I can feel my depression coming back if I don't paint for awhile. It really helps me get out some of my issues and deal with them in much better ways than what I used to do. I had been near having a relapse and I haven't had any problems like that in well over a year. Painting makes me stay calm. It lets me express the things I'm too afraid to say to people. One day I hope to be better and to not need to do something to relieve everything. But until then I just have to find ways to keep me from thinking about what happened. I hope to keep doing well.

Vonnegut Jr. Essay

Ursula Levy survival testimony

Ursula Levy was born on May 11th 1935. She came from the town of Osnabrück Germany. Her parents were Max and Lucia Levy. Ursula Levy was only three when her father was sent to the Sachsenhausen concentration camp. Soon, her father returned but in poor health. He had sustained serious injuries and was unable to recover. He passed away early in 1939. After his death, Levy's mother sent her and her brother to a convent that cared for starving children. Though they secretly hid many Jewish children among the others. The two lived at the convent for many years before Nazi's invaded in 1943. The Nazi's took all of the Jewish children and many others to concentration camps. After some time one of the men from the convent, Mr. Vanmackelenbergh came to speak with the guards about the children. He said that the two were not Jewish and that they in fact had a father in America who was Catholic. When this information was uncovered the two were taken from the camp and moved to another camp were transported to Westerbork camp, where they were placed in an orphanage and sent to school. Soon the two were boarded on a train along with 2600 other Jews. The train was crowded and no one had food or water. There were frequent stops where they were aloud to get out and walk around. But Levy and her brother never thought to try to run. This was most likely due to not being able to think because of their hunger. After nearly two weeks the train halted and there was yelling from outside. The German officers outside were being arrested and the deceased were unloaded from the train. The remaining survivors; only 600, were released and sent to a nearby town to get food and rest. Levy and her brother did not have a home until they moved to Chicago to live with their aunt and uncle. It was later revealed to Levy that her mother had passed away. She sought therapy to help her deal with the passing of family and all the trauma involved with experiencing what she had been through. “The reason I remember so well is because we were all gathered in the hallway and the nuns kissed her goodbye and wished her the best and wanted to give her blessing.” “... A crumb of bread meant the difference between life and death.”

Free Write 10/02

I've had a really busy yet very exciting week. This sunday my boyfriend turned 21. We took him out to dinner and had a party later that night. I've been working every day as usual. Just bought a new car, so I feel really poor right now. But it's nice to not have to borrow my parent's anymore. My birthday is this sunday. I forgot about it actually. I've been so excited about my boyfriend turning 21 that my own birthday slipped my mind. I'm a little excited about the research paper I have to do for english. I love writing large essays and my favorite one is the one I wrote last year for english. I have no idea what our topic is this time, I'm thinking the holocaust. I've been helping my manager with her essays for college as well. She's awful. Just awful. I stay up hours helping her edit and reorganize her work. I've never seen such awful grammar and poor layout. I promise if she uses her version of the essay she will fail. But if she uses mine I know she will get an A. I stayed up until almost 1 helping her last night. I don't understand how she doesn't understand making an essay flow. If you have random points being thrown about it's stupid. I ranted for a long time about it to my boyfriend. he thinks I'm weird. But I love essays. I would really love to take an art class again. I took one last year but it was so expensive. I miss sculpting and pottery. They really helped me stay calm. Great stress relief. I paint now, but it isn't the same as sculpture. the clay makes me relax for some reason.

Whitney Kelley

Eng 102-127

Mr. Neuburger

30 September 2012

Summary of A Film Unfinished

            The documentary “A Film Unfinished” focuses on the Warsaw Ghetto. We learn much about the life within from many of the people speaking with us. It is a horrible place with sickness and death. People were starving, beaten, and dying on the streets. But a different story is told through the tapes that were recovered from a Nazi film crew of the time. They wish to lead us to believe that this is a wonderful place. The people get to see plays, go dancing, and have extravagant meals. At the time the Warsaw Ghetto was a part of a propaganda film meant to prove that what was happening to the Jews was not bad. They wanted the world to believe that everything was okay. Often times people would be forced to watch plays for hours on end. They were not aloud to eat or take care of personal needs for hours and hours. Sometimes we would be shown beautiful women that are well fed and well clothed. As these women converse among themselves a starving child would be forced to walk by begging for food. The women, though unwilling, were forced to hold their heads up and ignore the starving children. The Nazi's wanted us to believe that they were right. That the Jews were horrible and had to be taken care of. It is impossible to imagine the mind that created such a horror. A person, a human, just like you and I, saw that people were being tortured and drained of life, and made them act for a propaganda film showing how wonderful they were doing and how little they cared about the dead lining their streets. The film lets us hear what was really happening from people who were in the Ghetto at the time. They had hope. They thought they were going to be brought to a better home. But by the thousands they were stolen from their families and sent to their deaths. I can not imagine a person who has the bitterness and emptiness to throw away human life like this. A whole race was almost wiped out due to racism. This event says many things to me. One of those is that the human mind is so much stronger than we can imagine. Many of these people speaking in the film seemed very powerful and they were able to keep living their lives. But this also says another thing to me. Humanity is capable of so much darkness and hate. What is it that makes some of us act on our hatred while some of us could never hate a soul? What is the difference? What makes us any different than a mass murderer? Perhaps there isn't a simple trigger, maybe it is a build up over time. But it is scary to think that this could be dormant in many of humankind.